


State of Imaginary Grace

by PrimalScream



Series: Unleash your heart and soul [7]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Knifeplay, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Toys, emotionally stunted pupppies not actual puppies just puppy like people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 20:09:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7521394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrimalScream/pseuds/PrimalScream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy's a little angsty.  Just remember, if I break it, I fix it. </p><p>Title from <em>Melt With You</em> by Modern English</p>
            </blockquote>





	State of Imaginary Grace

**Author's Note:**

> There be knifeplay here, heed the warning. Small, but still existent.

When Billy shows up Vane is still sleeping. Billy thinks he should probably come back later but he’s just left Tia’s shop, a new shipment had come through and the one thing he’d been hoping for had showed up.

He takes the small box from his pocket and lays it on the stand next to the bed.

Billy piles his clothes on the floor and then slides in gently next to Vane.

He’s on his back back, blanket pushed down to his hips, one leg out straight, the other bent. His knee and most of his calf are visible, blanket lying low across his hips, covering only part of him.

He’s got one arm across his chest and the other up above his head. His breath is puffing out in a deep rhythm that Billy is more than familiar with. Billy trails his fingers lightly along the arm closest to him, the skin is soft and warm to the touch.

In sleep Vane looks younger, unbothered. No worry creasing the space between his brows, the lines around his mouth smoothed out. He looks peaceful, at ease.

Billy lets himself look. He’s rarely had a chance to watch Vane where Vane isn’t watching in return, at least not lately.

Billy can’t let Vane see what’s in his eyes now. He’s fully aware of what Vane wants from him, what Vane wants to hear from him. What he doesn’t know is why. Billy knows he’s only a distraction. He knows that this, whatever this is, will only last so long.

It had taken him weeks to realize what the emotions and turmoil crashing through him had meant. It had taken him even longer before he would admit it to himself and then he'd proceeded to bury all thoughts of it deep in his subconscious.

What he feels for Vane, what he wants with him, it’s not something he’s ever felt before, not something he’d ever let himself think about. He’d always assumed that he’d die at sea, on one ship or another, or drink himself into the grave the way so many others have done.

At no point had he ever contemplated having someone to fill his days and nights, having someone he wanted return to. Someone he’d be willing to leave the sea for altogether.

He never thought there would be someone whose own return he would long for. Someone he would worry for, someone he would ache for body and soul when they were away. He never thought he’d be consumed by someone else so completely.

He’d been foolish so far, hadn’t protected himself properly and up until several weeks ago he’d allowed himself to live inside the bubble that they had created. Inside the possibilities he’d felt growing between them.

Their time together had been getting longer, more frequent. They’d spent the last many months seeking each other out almost daily. What had started out as relief for proclivities others couldn’t give them had turned into early morning conversations, evening conversations, and shared meals. Up until a few weeks ago, Billy’s bunk on the ship was almost never in use.

Billy had started to crave all the pieces of himself that Vane was giving up. He wanted the knowledge to stow away. He wanted to keep the stories and the laughter and the way Vane smiled at him for lonely nights when they were separated. He wanted to be able pull them out to keep himself from going insane with wanting.

Without realizing it, he had been giving away the same pieces. Every story he’d shared, every memory of his parents, had seen Vane tuned into his every word. His eyes were always on Billy when he spoke, as if he too was locking away each piece of information Billy gave him.

At first Billy had found it unnerving, all that attention focused on him, but before he knew it, it was something he needed. Something he’d allowed himself to revel in and let himself believe was possible, even if only in the sanctuary of the fort.

It had all come crashing to a halt for him when he’d seen with his own eyes what others had been whispering. The men on his crew, the men on the island, they were all whispering about the same thing. Billy had dismissed it at first. Men talked, Billy knew that. Most of the time it was nothing more gossip with little truth.

But then he’d seen them on the street together himself. He’d been reminded quickly that Vane belonged to someone else. He was reminded that the things he’d briefly imagined were not up for the taking, at least not for him.

They had simply been speaking, standing in front of the tavern in plain view, facing one another, enough space between them that even proper society wouldn’t have batted an eye. But Billy’s stomach had flipped over and then turned to lead.

He’d stopped dead in the street, his eyes unable to look away even though all he wanted was to turn and go back the way he’d came. His legs had been frozen in place, his heart racing. He’d watched Vane look at her, face open, affection written in every line of his body, and Billy felt as if he’d been run through.

When she’d smiled at him, Billy had finally been able move away. He lost his breakfast in the first ally he’d come to. Later that night in the tavern when Billy was more than a few cups in Vane had come to him.

His hands had slid over Billy’s body. Across his shoulders, down his arms and Billy had shivered under the touch, unable to say no, not wanting to say no. He’d followed Vane to the fort.

Billy had kept Vane on edge for hours, his voice hoarse by the time Billy had finally let him come, secure in the knowledge that no one else could do this for Vane as well as he could, but also reminding himself that Vane’s heart was unattainable, that it belonged to someone else.

That very same night he’d began drawing back. Keeping himself in check, no longer staying the night. No longer encouraging the intimacy of before. He’d brought everything back to the physical alone.

Now he waits. He waits for Vane to stop taking him to bed, it's the last of what they still share. It’s something that Billy can’t bring himself to give up on his own. If this is all he can have until Vane is again in her bed, then he’ll take what he can get for now and worry over the consequences later.

Billy tucks the thoughts away and decides he’s waited long enough for Vane to wake. He pulls the sheet from Vane’s body slowly.

He climbs carefully between Vane’s spread legs and then places Vane’s legs over his shoulders.

He leans in and takes Vane’s soft cock into his mouth. Billy suckles him gently, tongue stroking back and forth over the delicate skin. He lets his eyes slide closed as the taste of Vane’s skin hits his senses. He knows that he’ll always crave this. That every encounter in the future will be compared to the way Vane makes him feel. The way he tastes, the way he reacts.

As Vane’s cock starts to fill, his head shifts on the pillow, a soft sound escaping him that makes Billy’s heart trip in his chest.

He licks down the side of Vane’s cock. Circles the base with this tongue before licking up the other side. He runs his tongue over the head. Vane shifts and sighs Billy’s name. Billy expects Vane’s eyes to be open when he looks up, but he’s still fast asleep, eyes moving rapidly behind his lids.

Billy lets his eyes slide closed again as he takes Vane’s cock back into his mouth to suck him to full hardness. Billy loves the way he tastes. He loves the feel of Vane’s cock filling, getting thicker, as Billy sucks him.

He buries his nose in the coarse hair at the base of Vane’s cock and swallows around him. He feels Vane’s hand stroke across his scalp and Billy looks up. Vane’s eyes on him are hazy, still sleepy but clearing.

“Thought I was dreaming. Should have known better, no dream will ever be as good as your mouth.”

Billy pulls up and replaces his mouth with his hands, strokes him slowly, fist loose.

Vane sits up, reaches for the cup of water next to the bed. He takes a few long swallows as Billy watches his throat work. After he sets the cup down he reaches for Billy.

He levers himself up, hooks his wrists under Billy’s arms and pulls him up and over his body until their mouths are even. Billy can’t help the thrum of arousal that courses through him at the display of strength.

Vane kisses him slow and deep. His tongue tracing Billy’s lips before entering his mouth. He strokes across Billy’s tongue. They tangle up for long minutes, Billy’s body half covering Vane’s, their mouths meeting and releasing over and over as their bodies rock together.

Billy shivers as Vane’s hands trace his sides, fingertips gentle as he touches Billy everywhere. When they pull apart the smile Vane gives him makes his heart beat triple time. It’s full of heat and something Billy can’t name and that he refuses to think about.

“Want to try something different today?” Billy asks as his eyes cut to the box on the table.

They rearrange themselves so that Billy can reach the box. He presents it to Vane.

Vane opens the lid and nestled inside, lying in dark blue velvet are two small round steel balls polished to a high sheen. They’re about quarter inch in diameter each. When Vane looks up, question on his face, Billy bites his lip.

“They go inside you.”

Vane’s eyebrows shoot up and then a smile breaks over his face as he asks, “Both of them?”

Billy takes the box from Vane’s hand and sets it to the side before saying, “Maybe.”

Billy kisses him. This time with more heat, more purpose. Vane responds by opening his mouth to Billy’s tongue. Billy walks his fingers down Vane’s chest, catching his nipples, tugging them into hard little nubs.

His mouth follows the same trail, teeth sinking in as he tugs before licking over pebbled skin. Vane encourages him with a single soft sound and his hand on the back of Billy’s neck.

Billy trails down the center of Vane’s stomach, Vane’s skin becoming wet under his tongue. He buries his nose in the curls at the base of Vane’s cock pulling the scent of him deep into his lungs.

He noses up the side of Vane’s cock before taking him down slowly, tongue twisting over the head as their eyes meet. He watches as the blue of Vane’s eyes slowly becomes eclipsed by black until his pupils are wide and his face is slack with need.

Vane’s head drops down to the bed, eyes falling closed as he lets Billy have him.

Bobbing his head at a leisurely pace he reaches for the oil on the table and slicks two fingers. He circles Vane’s hole gently, just barely pressing. Vane shifts down against him as he moans, legs splaying wider.

He presses lightly, feels Vane’s body start to yield and then his fingers are sliding in, Vane’s hole fluttering, pretty and pink around him. He moans Billy’s name.

Billy sees the muscles in his legs jump as Vane tries to keep from thrusting back against Billy.

If Billy believed in Gods, he’d think himself in the presence of one now. Vane’s body glows gold as a fine sheen of sweat starts to develop, his stomach twitches, abs standing out as he sucks in long breaths.

He swallows Vane down further, the head hitting his throat. He waits until he’s got Vane on edge, cock jumping on his tongue so close to coming it would take very little to push him over. He unties the thin leather strap around his wrist and then lets Vane’s cock drop to his stomach.

Vane’s eyes shoot open the second he feels the leather touch him. Billy wraps the leather twice around Vane’s balls and then brings it up the middle to wrap it snugly around the base of Vane’s cock several times to create a fingers width band before tying it off, effectively cutting off his ability to come.

Vane’s brows are raised but there’s a smile on his face. Billy puts a knife, the balls and the oil on the other side of the bed.

He pours a small amount of oil in his palm and drops one of the steel balls into it. He rolls it around in his hand getting it slick.

With his other hand he starts to open Vane in earnest. Fingers pushing in and reaching up. He lets his fingers catch on Vane’s rim, pulls Vane apart as he pushes in and out.

Billy slides his thumb in and pulls down, watches Vane’s hole clench around his thumb before sliding his finger in above it and widening Vane out.

He pulls out and transfers the ball to his other hand, holding it between his first and second finger he slides them back into Vane slowly watching his face for discomfort.

Billy gently pulls his fingers out leaving the ball behind. Vane’s eyebrows wrinkle and he meets Billy’s eyes.

“Alright?” Billy asks.

Vane nods, eyes falling closed again.

Billy slides his fingers in part way, feels for the ball, and then moves it smoothly right over the sweet spot that makes Vane twitch.

“Oh fuck that's good.”

Billy just hums as he takes Vane's cock back in his mouth. He goes down fast, rolling the ball with his fingers as he hollows his cheeks and sucks at the head of Vane's cock.

He circles the head with his tongue and applies concentrated pressure to just the very tip as he rolls the ball inside Vane. He pushes it up against the walls inside Vane’s ass and Vane’s hips punch up as he gasps.

Billy keeps him there, cock surrounded by wet heat as he plays the ball inside of him. Vane has one hand on Billy’s shoulder, fingers squeezing rhythmically, hips rolling, chasing Billy’s fingers, trying to keep him inside, keep him moving the ball. He’s panting, chest rising and falling quickly as his other hand plucks at his own nipples.

Vane licks his fingers before going back to rub over his nipples. He’s fucking up into Billy’s mouth, cock getting harder with every passing second. His balls are a solid weight against Billy’s knuckles as his fingers continue to roll the ball around inside him. Vane’s hips fuck up and up and up. If Billy hadn’t tied off his cock he’d be coming right now.

His fingers scrape against Billy’s scalp pressing him down further, forcing his cock into the very back of Billy’s throat. His hips are twisting helplessly, breath harsh as he moans _please_ over and over.

Billy trails his tongue back up Vane’s cock. Vane’s body falls back to the bed, hips still shifting restlessly against Billy’s hand. He licks along Vane’s hip bone, nips at the thin skin covering bone.

Vane’s breath hitches on another moan, another plea. Billy’s cock throbs, Vane looks so good, body flush and sweating. He’s tight and hot around Billy’s fingers and all Billy wants to do is bury himself to the hilt inside Vane’s body and fuck until neither of them can move.

Instead he reaches for the other ball, rolls it around to slick it. He widens the two fingers inside Vane and slips it between them. Vane shudders, body going rigid.

Billy waits for him to adjust. Just as Vane’s body starts to relax Billy uses his fingers to rotate the balls around and around inside Vane. Everything is getting touch at once and Vane’s cock pulses as if he’s coming.

He licks around the head of Vane's cock again, tongue probing the slit. Vane’s body convulses, upper body coming off the bed as he practically folds Billy into him. Billy can see the wetness at the corner of his eyes and when he opens them they’re solid black, not even a sliver of blue left.

Billy blow across the head of Vane’s cock and Vane’s whole body shivers. His head drops back to the bed as Billy leans in to lick around his fingers. He traces the pucker of Vane’s ass with the tip of his tongue.

Vane plants his feet on the bed to push back against Billy’s mouth. Billy pulls his fingers out and scrapes his teeth over Vane’s hole before sealing his mouth over him and sucking. He licks in with the point of his tongue.

He lifts Vane’s hips in his hands, pulls his ass apart with his thumbs to shove his tongue in as far it will go. Vane is all but sobbing above him, crying out over and over as Billy work his tongue in.

After long minutes he slides his fingers back in, rolls the balls around and watches Vane’s face go tense before relaxing. He sucks the head of Vane’s cock back into his mouth as his fingers move the balls faster.

He reaches for the knife, slides it gently along the very top of Vane’s thigh but doesn’t break the skin. Billy lays the blade against Vane’s hipbone, Vane pushes up against it and Billy cuts in. A thin red line appearing almost immediately.

He licks along the cut and Vane groans. He makes two more shallow cuts just below the first before he slides the knife between the leather surrounding Vane’s cock.

The second the blunt side of the blade touches him Vane goes still. Their eyes lock and Billy slices through the leather releasing Vane’s cock and balls. He gets impossibly harder. Billy sets the knife aside and starts moving his fingers again.

He’s got two inside Vane, palm down as he lets his thumb rub lightly up and down Vane's perineum. With his other hand he presses low on Vane’s abdomen, fingers feeling and searching until he finds the shape of the balls.

Billy presses the balls up with the backs of his fingers, and down with the the other hand and Vane jerks, cock leaking steadily over his stomach. Billy starts rubbing harder with his thumb.

Vane all but screams as Billy pushes from all three angles simultaneously.

Vane is gasping so harshly Billy is starting to wonder if he’s actually getting any air. But the moan he gets on the next rub of his thumb over Vane’s perineum tells Billy he’s fine.

Billy leans in to suck just the head of Vane’s cock into his mouth. He licks down to the base and pulls Vane’s balls into his mouth, he laves them with his tongue. Billy feels them start to pull up closer to Vane’s body. Knows it won’t be long. He lets them fall from his mouth as he continues to milk Vane from both angles.

Vane’s body starts to shake uncontrollably, his eyes roll up in his head, hands squeezing in the sheets next to hips. He’s moaning and panting, begging Billy not to stop, to let him come. Billy’s in awe as he watches Vane’s body get tighter, watches his cock swell, the head is solid purple, the skin so tight it’s shiny.

“Please. Fuck, Billy, please.” Vane begs.

His hair is matted under his head, sweat making it stick to his face as his head rolls back and forth.

Billy can’t take his eyes off the slit of Vane’s cock, he sees it pulse open and then one stream after another jets out to paint Vane’s chest and abdomen. Vane’s breath has stopped, his body frozen in a deep arch, hips and back off the bed. His mouth is wide open, eyes squeezed closed, face drawn tight with pleasure as he comes without a single touch to his cock.

Billy pulls the balls out quickly, he needs to get himself inside Vane’s body. He’s so hard, he’s been leaking for what feels like forever. He slides in easy, Vane is loose and wet and there’s little to no resistance.

Vane body spasms around him and Billy’s eyes slam closed as his body shudders. Vane’s legs come around him as he slurs Billy’s name.

He’s barely conscious, eyes hazy, mouth slack as his tongue licks out to wet his lips. All Billy can think about is that he did that, made him look like that. He rubs himself against Billy’s body, wraps his arms around Billy’s back and purrs into Billy’s shoulder.

His tongue slides over the sweat on Billy’s throat, teeth sharp and precise as he bites. Billy hears himself moan.

“You always make me feels so good.” Vane’s words are soft, barely discernible, “Let me ride you.”

Billy doesn’t know if he’s got the patience for it. He’s so hard, he wants to come, but before he knows it’s happening Vane is pushing him over and sliding back down on his cock.

His hands slide up and down Vane’s thighs as Vane rolls his hips. Vane plants his hands on Billy’s chest and starts fucking himself on Billy’s cock. Billy brings his legs up, let's Vane lean back against them as he bounces up and down.

There are still small aftershocks rolling through Vane and every few thrusts his ass squeezes down on Billy’s cock and Billy loses his breath. Vane pushes Billy’s legs down and gets to his knees. He turns so that his back is to Billy, plants his hands on Billy’s thighs and starts riding him.

Billy has a perfect view of the way his cock splits Vane’s ass open. He’s slick and shiny from oil and he’s stretched so wide around Billy, so pink and puffy and so fucking pretty Billy thinks he’s never seen anything so pretty before.

He rubs his fingers all over Vane’s stretched hole and Vane squeezes down on him on the next stroke. He comes down hard and grinds on Billy’s cock, hips rocking back and forth. Body undulating on top of him, the arch of his back as his hips roll is obscenely beautiful. Billy didn't know know anyone's body could move that way.

Billy’s close, can feel his cock swelling. He gets an arm behind him, sits up half way and pulls Vane back against him. Vane’s bouncing on him fast, chasing another orgasm. His head lolls back against Billy’s chest as Billy’s other arm comes around his waist.

He closes his hand around Vane’s cock, gives him a tight channel to fuck into. Vane’s breath is stuttering, and there’s a constant litany of broken moans as he gets closer. Vane wraps his hand over Billy’s and jerks himself faster, rougher, fingers squeezing the head tight and then he’s coming over their hands, hips grinding down hard. His ass locks around Billy’s cock.

Billy lets himself fall back to the bed, his hands going to Vane’s hips to lift him slightly as Billy fucks into him hard and fast. He’s so close, his thighs are shaking and he’s gasping for air. Vane sighs his name and Billy comes, hips shoving up and in as he bites into Vane’s shoulder.

Pleasure streams through him as his cock swells and empties itself inside Vane’s body. His loses feeling in his toes and he can’t stop shaking. He wraps his arms around Vane’s body, holds him until he feels himself starting to go soft.

He rolls them to their sides. Vane grabs for the hand on his chest, twines their fingers together as his body goes lax.

Vane is fading into sleep, Billy can tell by the cadence of his breath and the slowing of his heart beat. His grip on Billy’s hand is loosening. He turns to face Billy, his eyes languid and barely lucid.

“Billy.” It’s no more than a sigh as Vane’s eyes slip closed.

Billy doesn’t move, lets his eyes look his fill. He uses his other hand to trace Vane’s brow, across his cheek and along his jaw.

Vane’s eyes pop open, clear for an instant as he says, “Don’t go." His eyes begin to droop once more.

Billy traces the hand in his as he thinks the words he refuses to say aloud. He silently begs a God he’s not sure exists to let him have this just a little longer.

After long minutes of Vane’s deep regulated breathing he carefully extracts his hand. He lays a soft kiss in the center of Vane’s palm before laying it gently across Vane’s stomach.

He turns his back to Vane as he dresses. He knows better than to look back; knows if he does he won’t have the willpower to leave.

Walking away from Vane’s sleepy, sated body would be impossible were he to look back. He keeps his eyes forward and his back turned as he closes the door behind him.


End file.
